Weekly Update + The 4 Tendencies

My wife and I spent some time yesterday afternoon with a professional photographer so we could have some maternity photos taken. We took her advice on what to wear, made sure to turn up on time, followed her directions for poses and fun time doing it! The photographer mentioned to us a couple of times that we were really easy to work with, and that we might not even need all the time allocated to get the photos she needs. My own internal reaction to that was, "Of course we're getting praise, we're super easy to work with. After all, we're doing what we're told. Plus, I am pretty great at most things, and I deserve praise for that!" (and clearly modest too! :P) My wife's reaction was a little different though.

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Her internal reaction was to question the praise. Is that something she says to everybody to make them happy? Why are we easy to work with? She wanted more evidence before she could take it as a truthful bit of feedback. It was an accurate reflection of how our motivations differ - I'm an "obliger" while she's a "questioner" according to Gretchen Rubin's 4 Tenedencies. If you haven't heard of the 4 Tenedencies before, it's a way of categorising people based on how they are motivated. 

• UPHOLDER: “I do what others expect of me—and what I expect from myself.”
• QUESTIONER: “I do what I think is best, according to my judgment. If it doesn’t make sense, I won’t do it.”
• OBLIGER: “I do what I have to do. I don’t want to let others down, but I may let myself down.”
• REBEL: “I do what I want, in my own way. If you try to make me do something—even if I try to make myself do something—I’m less likely to do it.”

Knowing how I'm motivated has been a great help with understanding how best to achieve my goals. As an Obliger, I need to be held accountable, so having a deadline, progress chart, or a buddy to report to has been a great way for me to build some productive habits. For example, I've used a whiteboard on our fridge to mark off when I've done a certain task each day knowing that it's easily seen by others.

I've had some of my students take the quiz before to find out which group they belong to in order to help me better understand how to structure their learning and the type of homework they'd like to receive - for example, some of my students like a lot of structure in their practise, while others are happier to self-direct. If you'd like to take the quiz, you can do so here: Gretchen Rubin's 4 Tenedencies Quiz
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As to why I figured I deserved praise for minimal effort - well that's an entirely different can of worms that also makes it more difficult for me to learn new habits! 

Things I've been watching/listening to this week:

1. Blink-182 - I Miss You But It's A Thousand Miles By Vanessa Carlton - another beautiful mash-up from the king of YouTube mash-ups, William Maranci.
2. Dua Lipa’s Guest Host Monologue on Jimmy Kimmel Live - the singer of "Don't Start Now" guest hosted the late-night show and interviewed some senior citizens (undercover) about their thoughts on her music.
3. I've also been listening to the new Jacob Collier album "Djesse, Vol. 3". I've featured a few of his songs in these newsletters before, so if you've enjoyed them, check out the album!
4. Albums beginning with P and R: Bertie Blackman (Pope Innocent X), Cake (Pressure Chief), Feist (The Reminder)

Be sure to let me know what you've been enjoying lately and if there's anything you think I should check out!